being afraid or being scared

After a two hour sleep on the plane and a day of walking almost non stop (the subway lets me sit down for a bit) I am really tired, and it's only 7pm in here (Madrid).

I finished reading 'Looking for Alaska' by John Green, and although I haven't cried, I absolutely loved the book. It's completely diferent from TFIOS, because it is a whole new story about grieving for a lover, although both storys are really closed to me and my life:

Looking for Alaska: tells the story of loosing a friend who changed you, which is one of the things in life that scares me more: loosing someone who changed my life: a friend.

TFIOS: tells the story of two lovers who are destined to have a smaller infinite, living afraid they might die because of cancer; dying doesn't scare me but leaving people behind heartbroken feels like I am killing people too. 

note: i am not implying i would be missed by the whole world i am just saying that at least my mother would be broken hearted.

But guess what? we are all going. It is indeed true that we are all dying, each day walking faster to our final day, so I really believe that we should live like it was our final day, because we are closer but we don't know how closer we are.

Spreanding Love,

Bá