We are all in this together

Here I am sitting on my sofa, staring at a black TV, which is turned off, wondering how good can it be to be truly loved by someone else. And when I say someone else, I'm referring to human beings with a penis willing to love me. And what's wrong with me? I mean everyone out there is finding love and love is brought to them! But me? Oh well I haven't kissed a boy since April, and no one has spared a look at me. And if someone out there is alone too in this world, just remember, you're not alone alone, you are alone with me. 

My name is Bárbara, I'm a 17 year-old-Portuguese-girl who is willing to find love... But I guess love isn't willing to find me... I'm the most social awkward person I have ever met, I have a big group of friends (I guess) but I only really trust like 4 or 5 persons. I used to be a little nerd but now I'm just struggling to finish high school and go to medical school which is like 150km away from home town. I have a medical school here, actually 2, but I really need to get out of this house. No one understands me here, but I am respected, but it's not enough. 

My problem today? Oh well, I've (girl number one) feelings for a boy (boy number one) who has feelings for a friend of mine (girl number two), and this friend (girl #2) just likes other boy (boy number two), who is having feelings for her (girl #2) too. And the messier part? One of my best friends (girl number 3) likes the second boy, and she is getting really sad and I truly understand that, because I always fall in love with boys that doesn't really care that way for me, and sometimes, in any way...

I don't pity my self for struggling with everything in my life, I just truly believe I've lost so many battles that I deserve a winning battle.

Oh and I love to read. I've just finished the perks of being a wallflower and I found out that people shouldn't feel better, because someone out there has it worth, you should understand your not fighting alone, everyone is fighting something, so we are all in this together.

Spreading love,

Bá 

Ps: http://youtu.be/gbrbUfYSt0E that's the song that inspired me in the last few weeks, I'm a hsm kid for ever!